


when the rain drops

by youngho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Break Up, Drama, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pain, Rain, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7209956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngho/pseuds/youngho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A raindrop falls from the sky and crashes down on the ground until it is no more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when the rain drops

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Tiffany](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ6u3FO-aRM)'s [Heartbreak Hotel](https://open.spotify.com/album/26ngb4QrfhHzo8IFdT3KWh). You should give it a listen since I wrote this while the song was on repeat... Although, at the time, the MV had just been released so I wasn't inspired by the [lyrics](https://popgasa.com/2016/06/09/tiffany-girls-generation-ft-simon-dominic-heartbreak-hotel/)... (The cut title comes from the song too!) [If you click Tiffany's name, you get redirected to the MV, if you click the title of the song, you go to the Spotify playlist. HAVE. FUN.]
> 
> [Vietnamese Translation](https://www.wattpad.com/story/108522338) by [dojeffrey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dojeffrey/pseuds/dojeffrey)

Doyoung looked out the window, watched as the rain beat against the windows, leaving drops of water trailing down the glass. They looked oddly the same as the tears that marred his face in recent nights. He held up a hand and touched his cheeks, feeling the wetness stain his fingertips. He hurriedly wiped them away with the back of his hand and followed the trail of one raindrop, watching it slide down the glass.  
  
The droplet took it's time reaching the bottom, avoiding other drops in it's wake, but meeting one in the middle, one that blended into him. As they grew bigger together, the slide to the end became faster, rolling together until they broke into a million pieces as they hit the window sill. Doyoung looked away then.  
  
Wiping whatever traces of tears left on his face, Doyoung got up from the couch and looked on at the disarray all around him. Broken glasses, stuffing of pillows littering the floor, beer cans lying around and staining the marble. It reminded Doyoung of the aftereffects of a storm, except in this case, the storm was him. He sighed as he picked up the cans first, the ones less likely to hurt him. After that, it became easier to move, to grab the broom, to sweep the living room, to clean up his mess, to clean up after himself.  
  
Doyoung stared at his work, seeing the clean living room, but not seeing it at the same time. When he looked at the empty couch, he could see himself, laughing and smiling. There was someone else beside him, strong arms wrapped around his sides, skin so white they glowed, even in his memory. They were lying down on the couch, one throw pillow in Doyoung's arms, and the other one supporting the weight of the man in his memories. And then he remembered why he'd been so forceful to tear them apart, break them open until there was nothing left inside.  
  
The wooden coffee table caught his eyes next. He could remember the days those tables held cans of beer and glasses of water, he could almost see himself sitting on the floor, leaning close, leaning into someone else. And he could almost feel the press of soft lips against his own, could almost taste the bitterness on those lips. Doyoung didn't think he could ever drink the same brand of beer ever again.  
  
He turned away before any more memories pulled him in, before he could wreck the living room again. Right now, he needed to get away. With quick and heavy footsteps, Doyoung reached _their_ bedroom. The sheets remained a jumbled mess on top of the bed, and he didn't want to remember how they'd spent the night tied together, heat pooling low in their bellies and breaths hot on each other's skin. He didn't want to remember how everything was fueled by anger, hatred and guilt. They weren't making love then; they were making war.  
  
Doyoung swallowed and hurried to the closet, grabbing the duffel bag at the top ledge. He grabbed and grabbed clothes, worrying for only a second when he thought he might've grabbed _his_ clothes. He relaxed when he realized it was impossible, that they had kept their clothes separate. Doyoung filled his bag full and heavy, until nothing couldn't fit any more. He grabbed his keys, wallet and phone soon after, pocketing them as he lugged the bag around.  
  
Just as he reached the door, Doyoung wondered if it was worth it to leave a note. If he should bother calling or texting, to tell the other person that he was leaving... and that maybe he wasn't coming back. He shook his head. It wasn't worth it. _He_ wasn't worth it.  
  
Before Doyoung's hand could even touch the knob, the door opened, revealing the very man he was trying so hard to forget.  
  
"Jaehyun-ah." The words left his lips, unbidden.  
  
Jaehyun met his eyes then, for the briefest of seconds before they roamed his body, eyes going over the bag, and the state Doyoung was in.  
  
Doyoung did his best to remain still, remain composed. He focused on the confusion in Jaehyun's eyes and ignored how tired they looked, how slumped Jaehyun's shoulders were. He didn't—wasn't supposed to care.  
  
"Hyung," Jaehyun greeted. "What are you doing?"  
  
Swallowing down the fingers of fear and pain gripping his throat, Doyoung said, "I'm leaving." It came out much stronger and louder than Doyoung felt. But it didn't make him feel any better.  
  
"Why?" Jaehyun was quick to say. "Hyung, please. We—we can talk—"  
  
"Don't stop me!" Doyoung's own voice echoed in his ears, louder than the rush of blood he could hear in the background. His heart thundered in his chest, but he needed to _speak_. "Just don't."  
  
"Hyung," Jaehyun pleaded, his voice soft and broken. He took a step forward but Doyoung put a hand up, stopping him in his tracks.  
  
"Don't," Doyoung said. "Just let me go, Jaehyun." It sounded a lot like a plea, and Doyoung realized that it was, that he was pleading for his freedom, for Jaehyun to set his heart free.  
  
"I can't hyung." Jaehyun took another step forward, ignoring Doyoung's warnings. Doyoung looked at him then, really looked at him, and saw the tears at the edge of his eyes. He was distracted by the brokenness in them, the cracks in those pools. He hadn't noticed that Jaehyun took one more step and that he was so close now, his hand reaching out to hold him in place, to hold him tethered and tied to _this_.  
  
"You don't even love me anymore!" Doyoung shouted as he slapped Jaehyun's hand away. It fell straight back to Jaehyun's side. Doyoung’s words and voice echoed all around them, and Doyoung watched as guilt flickered in those eyes before Jaehyun lowered his head. He looked so guilty and broken, and Doyoung felt fury and sadness consume him.  
  
"It's over, Jaehyun, so let me go. Stop trying to pretend that your heart still beats for me, the way mine still does for you. You're not just hurting yourself, you're also hurting me." Doyoung swallowed down the hesitation and took a deep breath. "Goodbye, Jaehyun."  
  
He didn't look back, even though he wanted to, even though Jaehyun screamed his name. Doyoung didn't look back when he walked away, but he cried. He cried as he walked all the way to the elevator, and he crumbled to the floor when the doors closed.  
  
Doyoung could picture the droplet, could picture himself navigating through life all alone and happy, until he met Jaehyun. Together they had grown into the men they were. They learned and loved, kissed and made love until they weren't just two people but one entity. But Doyoung's mistake was believing that they were of one being, when in reality they were just one raindrop, meant to fall fall fall and crash on the cold hard ground.  
  
Doyoung screamed and cried until the elevator reached the ground. When the doors dinged open, Doyoung hurriedly wiped his tears away, stood up and left. With his foot on the gas, Doyoung drove until he was far away from the city, until he couldn't recognize the roads or the places. He didn't stop until he was so far away he could breathe again. The rain had gone by then, giving way for the setting sun.  
  
Doyoung stopped his car by the side of the empty road and just watched the sky. And then, with all the strength he had left, he looked back. He couldn't see anything but the road, but he could feel his memories come alive. He remembered Jaehyun stealing his first kiss, their soft confessions under crisp white sheets, the time they moved in together, the years they built together, and now everything was over.  
  
Doyoung stood at the end of it all and took a deep breath. He didn't feel it then, and maybe he wouldn't feel it, not for a long time at least, but he knew he was stronger for leaving.  


**Author's Note:**

> Jaehyun really technically doesn’t love Doyoung anymore… he’s a little more than infatuated with a guy named Taeyong. Doyoung doesn’t know who he is, but he can tell Jaehyun is falling out of love with him and in love with someone else. Jaehyun just can’t break up with Doyoung because they’ve been together for so long and he honestly didn’t think he could live without Doyoung… he learns the hard way that he can.


End file.
